What makes a relationship work
Have a long relationship: in love, engaged, married, satisfied!
It is not always easy to get along smoothly in a partnership. Occasional arguments and malicious words are quickly uttered and can really hurt. Sometimes thinking back and remembering a time together is a good option to avoid stress. Even people who have a long and happy relationship cannot do without arguments. We have collected 10 statements from different life partners for you.
Lovers, relationships and flirtations are all kindled by our love fire. Often you know after a few seconds whether someone is sympathetic or not. You also talk about whether you can smell someone good. This is due to hormones that our body deliberately releases to please a certain person. Our body is a highly complex network of muscles, feelings, receptors and our own will. It is precisely this that leads us to take a liking to a certain person. This text is about people who love each other like mad and sometimes can't stand each other.
1. Satisfaction is the basis of a healthy relationship
“I think a happy relationship depends on a great many factors. From my personal point of view, a lot has to do with satisfaction. Because if you are satisfied, you can also have a happy relationship. To be satisfied together, you need trust, fun, spontaneity and just willingness. That also means compromising and not being resentful. Each of the two partners should approach the other and listen, even if it is sometimes difficult. However, it is very important to try something new and do joint ventures.
Vacation together, fun and mutual annoyance and teasing can breathe new life into a relationship like this. So, jiggle and tickle each other on the couch together or just be a little childish. I'm happy when we do something together, even if it's just washing the car. The main thing is that I'm on the road with my partner. "
School teacher from the Ruhr area, 38, in a relationship for 14 years
2. Tolerance, love and respect as pillars of the partnership
“Above all, it is love and the willingness to be tolerant. To know where your own weaknesses lie and also the ability to express your own needs fairly. In my opinion, it is also important to have a sense of humor, a large portion of trust and the knowledge that you are the only one. When you know that, you also feel that you are being taken seriously.
There are a thousand little things that have an impact. You want to feel taken seriously and, above all, to be respected. After an argument, it is important to me that you can forgive and give each other space to think. Even after an argument, one should be ready for a serious conversation and not be selfish. In addition, resolved issues should not be rehashed after three or four weeks. That only creates arguments and displeasure.
I think you should - even if it's difficult - put your own vanity back a little and communicate for it. That is very important: communication! But in the end every relationship is very individual and everyone finds their own way. I think there is no one-size-fits-all recipe and no model solution. We are not all the same. However, common goals and interests should already be the basis of a healthy relationship. "
Mother of three from Franconia, 51, divorced once and happily married
3. Tension and surprises keep a relationship going
“In my opinion, it is important to share common views so that you know how to deal with each other in any situation! But the central focus for me is joy, trust and of course love. Because you should never forget what you love about your partner!
Even if you are together for a longer period of time, you should still have fun with each other, do lots of activities and never let “everyday life” return. Because then the tension and the surprises in a relationship are missing. I think that in a dispute it is important that at least one of the two partners can approach the other. This creates a common path again. Even if you quarrel, you know inside how the situation is hurting.
It is of course best not to argue in the first place, but that is of course difficult or impossible. In the end you should always hug each other and make up! "
Journalist from Brandenburg, 34, in a relationship for almost 14 years
4. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship
For me, mutual trust comes first. Sometimes one should forgive mistakes and not take everything so crookedly! This is very important. After an argument, you should also learn to forgive and accept an apology more quickly. A clarifying conversation afterwards can only help to express yourself. "
Schoolgirl from Upper Bavaria, 18, in a relationship for over 3 years
5. Independence strengthens the relationship
“I think my relationship has lasted for over six years because my partner and I both have obligations and don't always sit on top of each other. Everyone has their everyday tasks to do and so you are all the more happy when you can end the evening together on the couch.
I think it's important to put yourself in your partner's shoes and try to understand their emotional state. Sometimes you say things that you don't really mean. But the spoken words hurt the partner. Then you shouldn't be stubborn and want to get your way, but should see the situation a little more loosely. The sooner they both find peace again. "
High school graduate from the Ruhr area, 20, in a relationship for six years
6. A long relationship is based on honesty
“I basically believe that a good relationship is based on trust and honesty. Without that, the relationship is just difficult to lead. You should swim on the same wave and be able to express your opinion from time to time.
I think my relationship is still going because I have patience and my sense of humor brings a certain ease into the relationship. But I can also approach serious things with the appropriate sharpness. "
Student from the Salzburg region, 26, in a relationship for over 9 years
7. Growing together and forgiving mistakes for a happy relationship
“A good relationship looks very different from person to person. Some have a happy relationship while giving themselves all the freedom. The other cannot even let go of each other and become happy in this way.
With me and my boyfriend, we have known each other for a long time and have become “more mature” together. We tell each other everything. Regardless of whether the other person likes it or not - everything is said. The most important thing is honesty. This creates trust - which is also the be-all and end-all. It is also very important to be able to have fun together. And as long as the topics of conversation do not run out, you can have a long and happy relationship. That best describes us.
It depends on which argument it was and how long you haven't had to deal with each other. If you have been betrayed and you still love, see if you can build trust again.
Of course, it also depends on whether the partner does not make the same mistake again. When it comes to minor disputes, you can always talk about anything. Provided they both want a relationship. It is best to look for a compromise and not be stubborn - then everything can be fine again! "
Blogger from the Rhineland, 24, in a relationship for 10 years
8. Good relationships are based on honest communication
“The scales should always be balanced. There must be no egoism but the interlocking of give and take. Mutual attention is also very important. And the feminine and masculine energies should also be heeded. Care must be taken that they do not shift nowadays ”
Media workers from the Ennepe-Ruhr district, 29, in a relationship for several years
9. Soulmates have the best common ground
“I believe that there is a“ soul mate ”for every human being who just fits the other person exactly and that one is somehow meant for one another. But the most important thing for a relationship is that you have a common ground. You have to have the same ideas, dreams or goals as your partner. This is the only way to lead a life together.
How do you want to shape your future together or raise children when you have completely different views? In my opinion, two people who fundamentally disagree cannot have a relationship. Sooner or later there will be a break. This basis is just right with us.
Especially in very long relationships, you should reflect on what you have already experienced together and recall the beautiful moments, even when everything looks gray and gloomy. Often you already know deep in your heart that you don't want to throw it all away just because you argued a little (harder).
Objective opinions from outside people can also help you to think about your own point of view and what you might have done wrong yourself. And then you should definitely talk to each other and get rid of the matter. A serious apology or a small gift can help. "
Student from the Bergisches Land, 24, in a relationship for eight years
10. A long relationship also needs variety
“What has made me happy in a relationship for so long is that we treat each other with love and respect every day. (We at least try :-)) We are both willing to compromise. Otherwise a relationship wouldn't work. We are both interested in keeping the relationship going because we realized that we were just a good fit.
In addition, we do not lie on the lazy side. I'm investing a lot in this relationship and in that sense I expect to get it back. It should be a give and take. What helps to find each other again after an argument is some distance, even if it's only a few minutes. A little self-reflection can also help: What is the other trying to explain to me? Then you should work on problems and try to find a solution.
You may not find the right compromise for every problem, but it may still be worth a try. In order for a relationship to work well and for a long time, you need variety in everyday life. Sounds simple at first, but a short visit to a restaurant can help you to be in a better mood. "
Student from the Rhineland, 24, in a relationship for over 4 years, married
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