Is sex so important to life?

Let's be honest: is sex that important?

People are most satisfied in Rhineland-Palatinate, in Saxony they take the most time, and in the south they use sex toys more often. 45 percent of men give their love life a good grade. Only 37 percent of women. On average, Germans have sex twice a week. 61 percent of men say they always climax, but only 17 percent of women. And: women aged 55 and over have more orgasms than younger women. That was the result of a survey by the condom manufacturer Durex. But numbers aside. What interests us most about sexual activity are completely different things, such as: Is sex important for the relationship?

Is sex important for a good partnership?

Yes, sex is important for relationships and relationships. Men and women agree on that. Sex is also communication. Before people could speak, they could already touch each other. During sex, partners show each other that they accept each other, that they want to touch each other for who they are. And nature helps: During sex, the cuddly hormone oxytocin is released. This ensures that couples bond. If we miss that, we miss the person we love.

Is sex also important for health?

Very much, although a couple could of course go jogging together. Sex is more fun, and it's not mutually exclusive. But sex is not a substitute for an exercise program, and there is nothing that has to build up and go out. On the contrary: pressure from inside and outside, the self-optimization to become a top lover, the comparison with fictional or media role models, all this harms the experience of sexuality. The opposite is required for good sex, namely, above all, lust and relaxation.

Is sex important to our soul?

Yes. Sex (especially during orgasm) flushes stress hormones out of the brain and provides a very effective hormone cocktail for relaxation, for belonging and for bonding. Sex is regenerative, motivating, relaxing and inspiring at the same time. The best antidepressant can't do that. And that's just as well. That's why we have a sex life!

How many times a week is actually normal?

There is no such thing as normal in sexuality, the main thing is that the partners are happy with their love life - and sex life. But of course there are statistics on this. For example, after 7 years of marriage, most couples have sex about once or twice a week. Happy long-term couples say that with the years it might have gotten less, but often got better. So quality over quantity. There is also a new study with over 30,000 respondents. The result: Those who had sex more than once a week did not rate their relationship satisfaction higher than those who slept together more often per week.

Does masturbation have the same effect?

No. Masturbation is a great thing and often guarantees orgasm, but the attachment hormone doesn't find a target, which is a shame. Sex with your partner and masturbation are not mutually exclusive. And shouldn't be mutually exclusive. If you feel like touching yourself, you should do so. This applies to men and women of all ages.

Is sex equally important for men and women?

According to the latest research by David Schnarch, for example, not particularly. But every libido is different. It is desirable for every couple to be similar in their needs, so that one partner is not repeatedly rejected in his lust. If this is not done respectfully, then at some point he will no longer take the initiative. Clinical sex psychologist Professor Ahlers recently put it this way: "Women invest sex to get love, men seek love through sex."

What do you do if things don't go right in bed?

Only when partners know the wishes of the other can they also act out them sexually. Sex and sexuality should be viewed as a shared hobby. You practice there, sometimes something goes wrong, but it connects and inspires you even after a really bad day. Sex not only makes life more beautiful, it also welds couples together and strengthens their love.