Can May-December relationships really work?
Relationship: 7 dos & 7 don'ts for a happy partnership
A happy relationship does not depend on chance. It takes hard work, honesty, and a lot of communication. In our 7 Dos, we tell you what you should look out for in your relationship and in our 7 Don’ts, what you should absolutely avoid. In addition, we have some exciting relationship facts.
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Whether you want to save your relationship or want to know whether you are in a happy relationship - we'll tell you the most important basics and pitfalls. Find out if your relationship is meant for the future and what you should change so that it has potential.
Basics about relationships
The following relationship facts tell you a lot: You will find out which phases you go through in your relationship and that ‘angry’ in a partnership is actually a good sign, even if it annoys you sometimes. You can also use the important relationship principles to find out whether your relationship has good prospects for the future or not.
Phases of a relationship
Every relationship goes through different phases at different speeds. It starts with that initial Be in lovein which the partner is the greatest person in the world. Problems cannot affect you very much during this time and small quirks are initially overlooked. In the next phase, however, everyday life catches up with most of them and the other's flaws slowly become visible. This phase is particularly difficult to overcome because the partners are likely to criticize each other and try to change each other according to their ideas.
Those who have survived this phase feel connected and now know what to expect from their partner and what not. The relationship continues happily at first. But sooner or later other topics will become relevant. How do we face our common future in front? Is the relationship really what I want? During this time, questions of sexual compatibility also arise.
If the couple communicates a lot with each other, respects and treats each other fairly, this phase can also be mastered. Nothing stands in the way of a happy relationship with full trust. Nevertheless, both partners have to be willing to invest time and energy in the relationship in order for it to work.
What loves teasing himself
Even if you are sometimes annoyed by your partner's taunts in your relationship, you should be happy about it. Mutual annoyance speaks for a happy relationship. Psychologists from the Martin Luther University in Halle-Wittenberg carried out a study with 154 heterosexual couples. They were asked about their relationship and it was found that laughing and being laughed at play an important role in a relationship. This behavior reflects a strong bond.
Three principles for a happy partnership
Peter Pearson is a psychologist and couples therapist. He studied couples and their relationships at the Couples Institute in California for a number of years and has now come to the conclusion that three basic similarities in a relationship must match in order for a happy relationship to develop. His theory is based on that I states after Eric Berne, which Pearson has now applied to couples. Those who agree on the following three principles have the best conditions for a happy relationship.
Principle 1: This principle is based on what parents taught their child. Do both partners have the same values and beliefs?
Principle 2: This principle is based on feelings, in an honest way that is only possible as a child. Do you have fun together and are you equally spontaneous? Do you find yourself attractive and do you like to do something together?
Principle 3: This principle applies to the adult role and is based on what has been learned in life. Do you consider each other intelligent? Can you analyze and solve problems together? Do you have the same goals in life?
Save relationship with 7 Dos
7 Dos for your relationship
If you keep the following points in mind, you are well on your way to one happy relationship. You may also find out what you can improve about your relationship through these tips. It's always best to build a strong bond right from the start. But if you really love each other, it is also possible in retrospect to work through the important foundations of a relationship.
build up trust
In order for you to be able to build mutual trust, it is essential that you become one Leap of faith give. This is how you can prove yourself in situations where trust is required. You are showing that there is nothing to worry about. Talk to each other a lot and share your worries. So you can get a lot out of the world quickly. Don't hide anything unnecessary. That just makes you suspect you have something to hide. Calm down each other, contact each other regularly. At some point, trust comes naturally.
Some relationships start with friendship, others start with falling in love. In this case, the partners still need some time to get to know each other properly. It is important here, as well as trust Friendship build up. You don't have to go over exactly everything with your partner that you go over with your best friend. Make sure, however, that you not only connect your feelings for one another, but that you also understand each other on a human level. It is important here that the basic views about life roughly coincide. Talk to each other a lot and discuss calmly. This is how you get to know each other better and better.
Stronger bond with common rituals
Stronger bond through common rituals
Common rituals and gestures keep showing your partner that they mean something to you. Especially with longer relationships, it is difficult to maintain romance in everyday life. Fixed rituals ensure that you regularly do something good for yourself, that you appreciate each other and that nobody feels neglected. We have collected some examples of sweet rituals. Maybe there is something for you and your partner too. There doesn't have to be rituals right at the beginning of the relationship. It is always time to start a new ritual.
- Bring your partner something from their favorite store whenever you pass it.
- Make coffee for your partner in the morning and bring them to bed.
- Before a movie night, get his or her favorite chips.
- Massage your partner when he comes home stressed out.
- Kiss your partner on the forehead every morning.
- Read something to your partner if they cannot sleep.
- Send your partner a heart every lunch break via WhatsApp or other social media.
- Cook for your partner every Sunday.
Both should be sexually satisfied
Some couples are lucky and it fits them sexually right off the bat. Others are inherently less compatible and have to work on their love life, especially after being in love. It is important to pay attention to small signals in body language. If you suspect that your partner is not completely satisfied, you should speak to them about it. If something bothers you, you should always bring it up as soon as possible. If you wait too long, the inhibitions will eventually be too great and you will probably never bring it up.
It is the same with desires. If you are missing something specific when you sleep together, you should bring that up as well. But also be open to them proposals and Wishes of your partner. Try a little, be patient and try to come up with a common denominator as best you can. If one partner does not have the opportunity to act out sexually and the other does, there is an imbalance that sooner or later could be your undoing.
Respect each other
Respect each other
Partnerships work best when both partners are equal. His interests should be taken just as seriously as yours. Your feelings should be taken just as seriously as his. The basis of any good relationship is therefore respect. Respect your character, your professions and everything else that is important to you. Dreams and wishes should not be laughed at, they should be supported. You are a team and equal.
Take other people's feelings seriously
In a relationship there are always strong feelingsat play that are not always rationally comprehensible from the outside. Thoughts quickly turn into physical outbursts. Arguments arise faster the more vulnerable your partner feels. Such feelings are difficult to influence at first. They are rarely really controlled and express themselves more clearly in emotional people than in people who tend to be emotionally cold.
Therefore, whenever your partner shows feelings, you should always take them seriously. When he cries he is really sad. If he's angry, really angry. Try to show empathy and be understanding, even if you might not cry or scream in the same situation. The worst thing you could do is not take your partner's feelings seriously. Not only will you lose your partner's trust, you will intensify the negative feelings. If the relationship is important to you, you should work together to make sure that your partner is no longer feeling bad. If he's happy, so are you.
Romantic gestures do not always have to consist of chocolates and flowers. Get your relationship going again by trying new things together. Try a new sport, go on a leisurely weekend trip, or go to a concert. You could also cook something as a surprise and light candles all over the apartment.
Written tokens of love are also very romantic. For example, give away a love poem, a love quote with a personal reference to your relationship or write a love saying yourself. Write a love letter or make a love box. To do this, simply write down everything you love about your partner on small pieces of paper. Fold it and fill it in a container - the love box is ready. Your partner can read through again and again what you like about him and be happy about it.
7 Don’ts in your relationship
Avoid these 7 don’ts in your relationship
Again and again, couples tend to commit classic relationship don’ts. Usually the behavior should protect the relationship. However, it often does the opposite. For example, if problems are kept secret in order to avoid a discussion for the moment, it can happen that the resentment builds up over time. This creates a much bigger argument later. Think carefully about how you react in a relationship. The following tips will help you make the right decision.
You and your partner spend a lot of time together. You get to know each other better every day. So if something bothers you, sooner or later he'll find out anyway. It is best to address what your problem is right away. This way your anger or sadness cannot build up and you are able to talk about it objectively.
Just topics like sexual dissatisfaction can become a real problem over time. It is better to say directly if you don't like something or if you want something. It takes more and more courage over time, and you will keep putting it off. If you talk to your partner calmly and honestly, he will surely talk to you. Even if he's hurt and angry at first, he'll be glad you didn't keep it secret for months afterwards.
It's just as important not to let an argument just end like that. If either of you is not satisfied with the outcome of the discussion, it should be discussed until you both come to a common denominator.
Anyone who is in a relationship can get jealous. How strong this jealousy becomes depends on the one hand on the nature of the partner and on the other hand, how strong your trust base is. Jealousy in and of itself is not a bad thing, as it proves that the other person cannot take one's partner for granted. However, especially unfounded jealousy due to fear of loss should not get the better of a relationship. If nothing has happened yet that has shaken trust, one should general basic trust Be a prerequisite for your relationship.
infrigment of privacy
Respect your partner's privacy
One consequence of jealousy can be an unauthorized invasion of privacy. The typical example here is looking into the other person's cell phone when they have just left the room. Such actions should definitely be avoided in a partnership. Just because you're with someone doesn't mean they're yours. Everyone should have their own autonomy can keep. If you really want to know who your partner is writing to, just ask them. You will have to trust his honesty. If you can't trust him, you should reconsider the relationship.
Make your happiness dependent on your partner
In a relationship one likes to be there for one another, but nothing should be demanded that the partner can or would like to achieve. It is both about Like as well as around Character traits or Habitsthat the partner is unable to provide. If one feels inadequate in the relationship, it is likely to fail in the long run.
Don't make your state of mind and satisfaction with your life dependent on your partner. The way you live in your relationship now, you should also be able to live alone with yourself. You never know what's going to happen and whether the relationship might fail one day. Make sure you are happy with yourself. Your partner should treat you well, but it is not their job to make you completely happy.
Insatiable need for attention
The partner must also be able to meet up with friends without you being angry that you were not asked. Yes, in a relationship you do a lot together, but not everything. It is important that the personal development does not fall by the wayside and that also includes not being completely dependent on the other. If neither of you has time to yourself, the relationship is more likely to fail, as arguments arise faster and it is easier to get annoyed with one another.
So don't persuade your partner to stay at home with you all the time, and don't accept it on their part if they want to persuade you not to go out again. Couples often run the risk of losing their contacts because they no longer maintain them. There is nothing against going out together, but sometimes you can just do it alone.
Friends do not accept
Friends do not accept
If your partner has a solid group of friends that they value, that's their right. You don't have to get on well with all of his friends and of course they shouldn't treat you badly either, but a certain amount tolerance you have to muster up. Friends are very important for personal development and you certainly wouldn't want to give up your circle of friends either. Try to see positive things about it and focus on your friends. If you don't want to spend time with your partner's circle of friends and you don't have the same interests, that's a shame, but not the end of the world.
Want to change the partner
It's the forever old song. Relationships are entered into with the intention that the partner should change. Either optically as well as character if improvements are to be made and the confidence that he will learn this in time fuels rigid optimism. Anyone who approaches a relationship with this attitude will be disappointed. Minimal changes such as fine-tuning the clothing style may already be possible, but basic character traits will not change in a person through external influences.
The personality is very solid, especially in adulthood, and even if your partner keeps promising to change, it won't be easy to do. If you're a jealous guy, you won't be able to ignore your thoughts all at once. If you need drama and action, you won't suddenly become a couch potato. It is important to be satisfied with your partner right from the start and also to love them with their quirks.
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