Which is better to have love or money

Money and relationship: Sparfuchs loves Prasser - is that okay?

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TIME MONEY: Ms. Rakete-Dombek, I got married this year. Without a marriage contract. Am i naive

Ingeborg Rakete-Dombek: Wait a minute, you have regulations: the laws. You both signed at the registry office that you will share everything you have accumulated after marriage, including your pension entitlements. If you pay more into the pension fund than your husband, give him some of your pension later. And there is a maintenance obligation in case you get divorced. I hope you knew this before you said yes.

TIME MONEY: To be honest, only vaguely.

Rocket Dombek: Most do not know what they are getting into in marriage. Many couples plan their wedding very carefully, but hardly think about the legal consequences of a marriage, marriage contracts are considered unromantic. However, the legal situation is even more unromantic and still geared towards housewife marriage. It protects the financially weaker, which is basically a good thing. But I don't think it's timely that when a divorce occurs, assets are shared that are not based on joint work. Suppose you bought an apartment before marriage. If their value triples during the marriage, you must share the increase with your husband. If he didn't contribute to it, that's unjust.

TIME MONEY: And that can be regulated in the marriage contract?

Rocket Dombek: In the prenuptial agreement, agreements on property, maintenance and pension compensation can be stipulated. For this, the couple have to talk about their further life planning, which I find important. Unilateral unfair agreements are ruled out, you cannot stipulate that a partner will look after the children until they are 18 - and then completely forego maintenance or pension payments.

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TIME MONEY: Is negotiating a prenuptial agreement a test of whether you will fit together in the long term?

Rocket Dombek: When I advise couples, I have the feeling that some of them are discussing their future for the first time. I send such couples back home so that they can sort it out. I once asked a couple if they wanted to have children. It was quiet for a moment. Then the man said, "Yes, four children." She said, "Oh. And who should take care of it? You travel all the time." He replied: "Well, you." The woman then said that they have to talk again. They didn't come back.

TIME MONEY: Can you also regulate in the marriage contract who goes shopping and takes out the garbage?

Rocket Dombek: One can of course write: the woman agrees to take the pill. Or: the man makes a pudding with sauce every morning. But how do you want to implement that? With contractual penalties? That will not do. If you don't like what your partner is doing, the only thing you can do is break up. And in divorce there is no guilt or compensation for disappointed expectations. Some clients want some kind of compensation for their offense: he cheated on me, now he's supposed to pay. That is not possible in this country.

TIME MONEY: What are other common misconceptions?

Rocket Dombek: Some believe they are liable for their partner's debts. That's not true. Both are only liable if you have bought or borrowed something together. That's why you shouldn't have a joint account with someone who is in debt.

TIME MONEY: Otherwise do joint accounts make sense?

Rocket Dombek: You are complicated. If you split up, you have to separate who owns what. If there is no agreement, everyone is entitled to half of the credit - regardless of who paid how much. It is not reprehensible to protect your wealth. Men have few inhibitions.