Carry coins in your wallet

Report from the stock exchange

"Average" model: what feels like ninety percent of all men carry this wallet in the same place - back pocket, right back.

If the never-ending reports of markets, money and stock exchanges get on your nerves, here is a change for you: a report from the market of wallets. Unfortunately, this market, especially when it comes to purses for men, is hard to beat when it comes to monotony. An estimated nine out of ten men use the standard model in a hinged landscape format with a coin pocket and snap fastener, four flaps for credit cards and a compartment for bills. Some wallet dealers try to attract attention with material experiments. Then the folding thing consists of kitchen silicone or space plastic, natural rubber, truck tarpaulin, seat belts or textile adhesive tape. Even a purse made of stainless steel mesh can be found on the net, it should feel like a pan cleaner.

What makes it more difficult for an amusing stock market report is that nine out of ten men not only have the same wallet, but also carry it in the same place: in the back on the right in their trouser pockets. We men are practically sitting on our money. Which is very unhealthy for our vertebrae. Chiropractors say that a purse at the back creates a "tilted position" on the left side, which puts one-sided stress on the spine. The damned money makes us sick.

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And it breaks the pants: There is a hole in the right back pocket of nine of my ten jeans, exactly where the corner of my wallet rubs against the denim. So far, every exchange has won against the substance. My pants would last longer if I could wear my purse on the front. But I know from experience: It is better to get used to meat, cigarettes and beer at the same time than to change your routine on the stock exchange.

What would the alternative be? A money clip? You seem like a mafia godfather. A key pouch with a zipper? Small checked. A waiter's exchange? Only waiters and women wear. A wallet? Doesn't fit in your pocket. A neck pouch? Goes out of style with the onset of puberty. A money cat? Yes go please

At the moment I am relying on a compromise, on a credit card case to collect the cards, bills and receipts and carry the change loosely in my pants. Although this signals a certain nonchalance in dealing with money, it can be annoying in the long run. The cents are constantly flying around, piles of coins are forming everywhere because you don't want to carry them with you, but sometimes you absolutely need them. For the coffee machine, for the shopping cart, for the parking ticket machine.

For the sake of convenience, I now categorically refuse to accept copper money, even if it becomes expensive over time. The other day I bought a pretzel for 60 cents and got eight five-cent coins out of my euro. I let them lie, principle is principle.

Fortunately, coin money is on the decline. At the DM drugstore, for example, they have recently been rounding off the invoice amount to cent units of 5, 10, 15 and so on. The checkout ladies no longer bother their customers with singles and twos. A pioneering solution that is gentle on the spine.

Men who live an even more casual lifestyle do without a purse completely and put their cards, receipts, bills and coins in the various pockets of their trousers. In Frankfurt's banking district, however, you shouldn't be so casual: "A decent person doesn't jumble around, neither with the car key nor with the change," she noted some time ago FAZ and presented a purse, the "Uno2" wallet. In their patented coin magazine exactly 16.80 euros fit, that's what FAZ recounted. "Uno2" is a nice gift idea for men who sort their shirts according to the date of purchase. You just have to decide whether you want to be an accountant or a bon vivant.

How you turn it around, money always causes problems. And rescue is not in sight. The "electronic wallet" has been celebrated in the media for years, but paying by mobile phone has not yet caught on. Neither does the cash chip on the EC card.

While we're at it: Why do credit cards have cracks after six months at the latest? Couldn't even an intern at some central bank worry about that? To put it another way: How thoughtless is a banking system that flips billions of cheap broken cards to its customers? Of course there are plastics so tough and stable that they can survive twenty financial crises. My card has not yet reached the expiration date printed on it. A cashier recently said that she recognizes men blindly - by their broken credit cards.

Meanwhile, a British company presented its own version of the electronic wallet. It can only be opened by the owner's thumbprint; Long fingerprints fail. The wallet is made of carbon fiber, even with violence unauthorized persons cannot access its contents. It also sounds the alarm as soon as it is more than five meters away from the owner's cell phone. All you have to do is configure it on the computer and connect it to the telephone via radio. If the description of this nonsense is not enough of a deterrent, here is the price: 695 euros. If you are not a stock market shark, you have nothing left to put in after the purchase.

Photo: Jens Mauritz