Why are you still single
1. You have no idea what you actually want
... and if so, then you definitely can't Distinguishing Mr. Right from Mr. Absolutely Wrong. To get through successfully in the single jungle, you should know exactly which character traits and values are important to you in a man (or woman). Otherwise you will always come across guys who can't give you what you need - but on whom you still waste time and (emotional) strength. Our tip: Sit down with a cup of coffee or tea, pick up a piece of paper and pen and write down how you imagine your ideal partner to be. Should he make you laugh? Should he have hobbies similar to yours? Should he also subscribe to loyalty and respect as the highest values? It is also very important to see how you will feel in your future relationship feel want. Safe, peaceful, happy? Write everything down!
2. "Wanting interrupts being"
Similar to point one, there is a risk that if we want a partner too much and too tense, we are tempted to no longer be able to tell the right man from the wrong one. Experts also call this phenomenon "projection". Here, the men we get to know basically only play the role of extras and form a projection surface on which we "mirror" all our deep desires and longings. Actually, it is usually not about our counterpart, but only about the hope, he could be the right man now to give us everything we want so badly. Try to get out of the waiting position and not force a relationship too hard. Point one helps you!
3. You are way too impatient
Nothing is unsexier than a woman who to want to get nailed in quickly. Often a certain impatience goes hand in hand with point two, after all, we want a relationship so badly that we don't want to waste time. But butter for the fish: In the end, you come across with the guy just desperate and convulsive. And we all don't want that, do we? So: Relax, let things take their course and just lean back and let everything come towards you.
4. You become emotionally dependent too quickly
You notice after a few dates or maybe even earlier that the other person is not really into the matter. He does not answer regularly, is unreliable or obviously meets other women. Everyone tells you: send him to the desert, but instead of listening to your friends' advice, you better call again or write the fifth unanswered SMS. Now pull the emergency brake quickly! Just the fact that he's not on the ball should remind you of point one, where you have hopefully written down that you want a partner who makes you feel comfortable and familiar, who is responsible and attentive. Your current object of desire obviously does not meet these requirements? This fact alone definitely does NOT make him the right guy for you.
5. You say negative mantras to yourself before the date
In order to protect ourselves, we often say "I have no expectations" or "I already assume that I won't like it" before dates ... Instead of really feeling that way We really only pray down these negative mantras out of fear of disappointment and hurt. The problem: There is a risk that we will come across as cold, dismissive and indifferent on the date. Fire? Guaranteed not to arise during this ice age. Our tip: Let yourself go, be full of anticipation and have a few expectations. Hopes not fulfilled? They are simply part of life, we cannot avoid them ...
6. Your expectations are too high!
Yes, exactly you are meant. Actually all of us. As soon as we are on a date, we often wonder whether we want to do that to ourselves again. After all, in a nutshell, the date is nothing more than an interview. We give our best, tell about our hobbies, what we have experienced, where we have already traveled, and so on.
When we have made it through to it, we spend a lot of time in the bathroom. Exfoliating, shaving, plucking, blow-drying, straightening. The whole program. The disappointment is all the greater if the guy suddenly arrives with dirty sneakers or if his shirt is accidentally buttoned incorrectly. At that moment, we might secretly catch ourselves rolling our eyes inwardly and closing up with him after just 5 minutes. The reason for this seems to be very superficial, but we just get mad about itthat he hasn't even managed to clean his shoes. After all, we stood in the bathroom for a long time and made ourselves pretty.
Unfortunately, certain statements can also be incredibly crazy. "I like to play Playstation with the boys." Okay, bye - we think so. Why? Because we don't feel like having a little boy as a friend. Although it is not even clear how things will go on with you two, it is already deep in a drawer. Often we don't even give people the chance to get to know them properly ...
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