Girls are attracted to fat boys

Boys question about sitting there strangely

Girl answer

Dear guys,

I was sad the other day. Then I read the book by Lindy West, a fat feminist from the USA (and yes, she would like to be called “fat” and please not “overweight”). Among other things, she wrote about why it is now okay for her to be very fat - but in a subordinate sentence she mentioned that she always envies all the women who sit on a chair and bend their legs. It never could, cannot and in all probability never will. That touched me.

I am bringing this up for three reasons.

1. Because it shows that not all women (can) sit strangely. 2. Because it shows that many women do it anyway, so many that it is simply noticeable.

3. Because my reaction (sadness) shows that I like this weird sitting.

But why exactly are we doing it now? And you don't?

You can now approach it scientifically and seek any knowledge that says that women are usually more flexible than men. Other hormonal requirements, as a result less dense tissue structure, as a result more elastic muscles and ligaments (or something like that). That at least explains why when you pull your legs you can get flashes of pain in different parts of the body, whereas we keep doing it for hours: Those of us who do this just don't hurt. So we do it simply because we can. That’s a reason.

Another is: convenience. Or even more: the absence of tension. You can see that in the situations in which we do it. Where you will never see us sitting with our legs drawn up or our right foot under our left pop cheek: at the annual meeting with the boss, in the audience at a panel discussion or even on the podium itself. Where you will see us sitting in all possible positions: after the dinner in the kitchen of the best friend, on the office chair in the study and yes, also in our conference. The conference honors this, because as you will have noticed from the list: We only do this in protected rooms, where we feel comfortable and relaxed and do not have to represent anything with our appearance. Where we don't have to be serious. Or stop, differently: Where we are not serious look have to.

And to get a little more social now and give the matter a little more importance than it might have in the end (but hey, we're in the column here that does that on principle!): Maybe there is a little bit of play with the fact that we girls have often grown into a different, more conscious physicality than you boys. Have bodies that are looked at. As it is said in feminist film theory: the man is the bearer of the gaze, the woman the "bearer". And the knotted or drawn up legs, making it small on the surface of a DIN A4 page, these are somehow also protective positions. We roll up our bodies so that they offer as little space as possible that can be struck by looks and the world in general. Which is more for a good feeling than that it would actually bring something - because in the kitchen of your best friend (or our conference) the world is not really there and cannot meet us. So on the podium it would make a lot more sense to curl up. But you have to be serious about that. Afterwards, making yourself small somewhere is a bit like stretching yourself after getting up in the morning. Relaxing. Blissful.

As you can see, I actually think it's pretty good. I like to do it myself. However, I am now imagining a painting: It shows our conference room. The man-spreader or the foot-on-knee dude sits casually on the right. And on the left, across from him, one of us women, with her legs drawn up and her arms around her knees. And when I look at it in my mind, something about it seems very wrong. I think I'll put my foot on my knee tomorrow. It's sure to be very convenient.

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