How can I be personable
8 things that immediately make you seem likeable
When the chemistry between two people is right, one speaks of mutual sympathy. Interpersonal affection depends on several factors: Anyone who experiences moments of happiness with another person will continue to eat them emotionally for a long time. Because just the thought of the shared experience lets the body release the happiness hormone dopamine afterwards, which also creates a feeling of connectedness. Similarities uncovered in conversation also create sympathy between two people: Similar opinions, interests or characteristics connect and ensure mutual confirmation. The nice feeling of liking someone also arises when you master difficulties or exceptional situations together with another person - for example on a mountain hike or while traveling, when you are stranded together in a city or at the airport.
Why do we find some people likable straight away?
There are encounters that captivate us from the first minute. Does the external appearance or rather the character of our counterpart play a role? Difficult to say - because it is usually inexplicable to us why we find someone likeable straight away. However, sympathy usually follows similar patterns. First of all, we perceive a fascinating appearance: gait, facial expressions, gestures, body odor and the entire appearance. We find people who remind us of a loved or popular person to be exciting. The social component is also an important factor when it comes to attraction: We like people who are steadfast in life and who appear responsible, loyal and committed. We are particularly sympathetic to people who are honest, open-minded and approachable and reveal something about themselves - we feel particularly comfortable and welcome in their presence. Last but not least, we feel drawn to people who do not arouse envy in us, i.e. who do not compete with us - be it in their job, private life or any other social area.
The good news is: We can learn many of these sympathy factors in order to become a person of sympathy ourselves little by little. Because as the saying goes: there is no second chance for a first impression.
These 8 things make you seem immediately likeable:
1. Show interest
People are egoists and prefer to talk about themselves: Basically, we are all primarily interested in ourselves, we want to be important and meaningful. You can take advantage of this character trait to collect sympathy points: Show your interlocutor that he interests you - for example by asking specific questions. If you only talk about yourself all the time in order to convince others of yourself, you will not make new friends in the long run.
2. Listen carefully
Do you know that? A friend or colleague asks you a question, but then only talks about himself without periods and commas. Often people are only looking for a good listener in a conversation, to whom they can express their insides. But this behavior is not only disrespectful and insensitive, it also comes across as unsympathetic. If you want to be a pleasant and interesting conversation partner, you don't have to say much, but should rather encourage the other person to speak of himself - and then give him his undivided attention.
3. Remain authentic
Like this today, like this tomorrow: There is nothing more strenuous than people who change their mind every day. Especially when you're talking to another person to please them. Anyone who does not want to be seen as a flag in the wind, but wants to be taken seriously, stands by their own opinion. Stay true to yourself and don't play any roles - then you will be accepted by those around you as you are: authentic.
4. Train your memory
Have you ever seen someone introduce themselves to you repeatedly and keep asking for your name? Not a nice feeling. Because if you don't bother to remember the names of your fellow human beings, you don't seem to be interested in them either. So always remember: Knowing someone else's first name is one of the nicest compliments you can give them.
5. Smile often
Everyone longs for affection. But what is the best way to signal to others that you like them? Quite simply: with an open smile. Through this small gesture, our counterpart feels noticed and confirmed as a person. It's not for nothing that dogs and small children are immediately likeable to us - if they are happy to see someone, they show it unfiltered. Smile at other people more often - it's worth it!
6. Communicate with the whole body
A gesture is sometimes worth a thousand words. We are constantly sending out signals via non-verbal communication, for example, arms crossed in front of the body in defense. Always keep an open body posture in order to indicate willingness to communicate and not to create unnecessary barriers. People who turn directly to their interlocutor during a conversation, keep eye contact, do not cross their arms and have a firm handshake make a positive and personable impression. A light, unobtrusive touch now and then also ensures closeness.
7. Exercise constructive criticism
Giving honest criticism to friends, family members, or colleagues is one of the greatest challenges we face in human relationships. How do you explain to someone that they did something wrong without offending them? The key to this is fairness: also address your own mistakes and point out that you are not perfect either. It is better to make constructive suggestions instead of blaming the other person alone, to be condescending or bossing around - this way the person you are talking to does not lose face and you can work together on a quick solution.
8. Boost the self-confidence of others
How often do we think things like: “The dress looks great on her”, “This hairstyle looks great” or “I really liked the presentation.” But far too seldom do we really express these thoughts. When you pay an honest compliment to a friend or colleague, you build her confidence and make her open up to you. Try it out - the good feeling will be returned for sure.
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