How can I switch off my feelings

Controlling feelings: what very few people know about it

I can very well imagine why you came across this article. You struggle with strong emotions and the feeling that you have little control over them.

Maybe you feel incredible jealousy towards your partner, or you have fallen in love with someone so much that you can no longer think straight.

Maybe all you want right now is being able to control these feelings or turn them off.

I can understand that completely. In the past, I also felt that I only really wanted to feel a small range of feelings - you probably already guessed it, it was just the good feelings.

With everyone else, I've tried to control those feelings or turn them off.

But did that ultimately bring the desired success for me?


For the following very simple reason. By wanting to control my feelings or to turn them off, I have them given much of my attention. All day I've just been thinking about the fastest way to get it away.

It's just like lying in bed in the evening and pondering why you just can't fall asleep. You will lie awake. Until you change your focus.

Does that mean that you should suppress all feelings nicely from now on?

Because then you are superficially giving them no more attention.

No, what it means is that you should allow all feelings from now on. Give them a raison d'ĂȘtre. What may sound a bit paradoxical at first, makes a lot of sense on closer inspection.

Because if we fight against certain feelings and want to turn these feelings off, then we create a considerable resistance against them. We give them a lot more energy and attention.

If we accept the feelings and just let them be there, then they lose their power over us because we let them be there without paying so much attention to them.

Table of Contents: This is what awaits you in this article

Accept feelings - how does it work?

The easiest way to truly accept feelings is to not close your eyes to them. We notice them and look at each other, almost as we always do.

Now comes the big difference. Instead of them "bad feelings" or "I don't want to feel" To put stamps on it, Let's just give ourselves this review now.

Instead, we are the curious observers, the onlookers of our emotions. We look and see what happens.

You can find more information on how to observe feelings here:

What makes your feelings so bad for you and triggers the urge in you to control these feelings or to want to turn them off are namely not the feelings themselves.

The feeling of fear is basically just a tightness in the chest or a tingling sensation in the limbs.

However you express it.

That is relatively easy to bear. What really makes it almost unbearable is your mental evaluation. Your mental resistance in your head.

It is he who makes the feeling really uncomfortable and, above all, who lets it stay with you instead of just moving on.

Your little man up there in my head, the little one "I don't wanna feel this man" clings to this feeling with all his strength and doesn't want to let it go in hell.

I think the little one sometimes exaggerates a bit - it doesn't have to be.

So it's about getting your emotions a little bit out of your head and into your body.

Next time you are plagued by fear, jealousy, or whatever, stop for a moment. Clearly tell the chatterbox up there that it will have a few minutes of broadcasting pause and that it will be allowed to resist again later.

You use this time to to go into your body very actively. Be mindful and take a look at the feeling for what it really is. In your body and without this evaluation. Where do you feel tightness, where do you feel pressure, where in your body it gets warm. How do your facial muscles feel?

There are a thousand and one ways in which a feeling is expressed in you - and all of them are completely okay and also easy to bear on the physical level.

What happens now is this: By becoming the silent observer and showing your chatterbox up there the fox of silence, you let your emotions be there. You stop with the evaluations, which means nothing else than: You accept your emotions. You are changing your life.

That then does two really cool things:

  1. The feelings come to you, you look at them and because you do not offer any resistance, they will pass you by again.
  2. You build a much deeper connection with yourself and get to know (and above all feel) yourself in a completely different way.

Whatever feelings visit you regularly in your life, you always have the power to change them.

Because how crazy it would be if you felt like Euphoria, fun, excitement and luck run into your path instead of the feelings mentioned above?

With a little practice, my dear friend, you can make this a reality in your life.

Controlling your emotions or wanting to turn them off does not even come in the bag, because they are so good every day that you like to bathe in them and savor them to the full.

How good that we have just learned to accept our feelings, because that is an essential prerequisite for being able to influence them consciously and mindfully.

How feelings arise

We all make our own feelings.

Because feelings arise from what kind of films we run in our heads. I bet you, even if you haven't noticed it so far, that your emotional world reflects your mental images one to one.

For example, if you vividly visualize your entire family in a car accident all day long, you lose your job, and a nuclear war breaks out in the world, how are you going to feel? Do you paint all these horror scenarios in big, bright, colored pictures in your head - is there any way to enjoy this life to the fullest?

But what would be, purely hypothetical, if you had clear images in your head all day long of how you achieve all your goals, how you are successful and how people react to you super?

You say unrealistic? Have you ever thought that this is just unrealistic because you haven't thought it hard enough yet?

What you think about will come into your life.

If you want to bring good feelings into your life permanently, you have to get good pictures in your head first. That is the basis.

The first thing to do here is to recognize the old, well-worn images

Make it a habit to bring your mental images more into your awareness. The next time you feel uncomfortable - and have accepted the feeling - then take a closer look and examine which images have haunted your head.

Do you feel jealous Can it be that you picture very clearly how your partner is happy with someone else and the two of them have a lot of fun together (and maybe ride a white horse into the sunset :)).

Maybe you will see yourself crying on the sofa shortly after the moment he or she broke up with you via Whatsapp.

Whatever you see it won't be a positive image.

What can we do?

If you have recurring feelings, then it is likely that you also have recurring images in your head that automatically and always run in the same way - often without you noticing.

As a first step, we have already learned how to accept these feelings. Likewise, we can also accept these images and allow them to be there. We can also see them as a clear sign and investigate what they might have to tell us.

Here, too, we don't fight the images, but accept them - in order to then model them according to our ideas.

In order to change these images that have been ground in for a long time, we first have to edit them a little, let's say.

Change it the picture of your partner happy with someone else in that that other one is a fat, walrus. This walrus is wearing pink suspenders and a party hat.

Train your imagination until all you see is this picture instead of the old one. I bet it triggers a completely different feeling than jealousy.

Maybe you have to laugh out loud.

Now you can go there consciously and make other pictures. Imagine how happy you are with your partner. How you laugh together, how you are tender, how you know each other inside out and have infinite trust in one another.

Make this picture big.Feel yourself into it. How does that feel? What do you hear, what do you smell, what do you feel?

If you do this in a really focused way, do you think you will still feel jealousy? You will only feel it occasionally when the old image reappears. Realize this and let the walrus dance into the picture again to the music of Barry White.

Sounds and language

In the same way, you can do this with the sounds you hear while your images are scrolling. When feeling bad, we often hear our own voice or the voices of others (mostly authority figures from our past) speaking to us in harsh words.

The voices are loud and turned directly towards us. Here, too, you can intervene to change it. Just let this voice start to lisp or get very quiet and rush over to you from a distance so that you can barely hear it.

Give everyone involved Mickey Mouse votes and let them chatter really quickly and without periods and commas and see how you feel when you have really let yourself into it.

Getting used to it

Like any development, it is also a process. You will immediately feel the effects when you change your mental images. However, it can take some time before the new pictures really run on autopilot and you let love and well-being into your life permanently.

It is also important that you enjoy your development. You can do such incredibly funny jokes with these pictures. Do not set yourself any limits here and see what is possible. Don't hold onto any reality. Because what is reality? I don't think anyone can answer that exactly.

At least one thing is certain. You can influence how you see the world, how you feel and what happens in your life relatively easily.

All you have to do is take responsibility for it and consciously influence your thoughts in the form of images and the way you talk in your head.

Again, it's important to say that everyone is growing at their own pace. Some of the images up there can be a little persistent. But the more you practice, the better your ability will develop to paint the pictures exactly how you want them to be and thus to determine more and more precisely how you want to feel.

But one thing is certain. With this method: Accept feelings - change habitual images - consciously create new images, you have a very simple and proven method at hand, and you need to stop giving in to your urge to control your feelings or to turn off your feelings.

You simply accept them and then model yourself exactly the feelings that you would like to feel.


Turning off feelings or trying to control feelings is not a goal-oriented approach to dealing with unpleasant feelings.

Rather, we are allowed to accept all feelings in ourselves and then learn to take responsibility for feeling exactly what we want to feel.

So you can bring much more joy, fun and love into your life. Just by changing your mental images in your head. With a little practice this is really easy and at some point you won't think about it anymore.

best regards

/ 18 Comments / by Tim Hamer