Where is male chastity to be found

Chastity sex trend: when abstinence makes sex better

Have you ever been chaste for a while? I don't mean sexual abstinence due to lack of opportunity. But as a self-chosen option. Because you want to give up living out your erotic needs for hours or days. Would you like to know why you should do that? Because it can make your sex better. And an ideal tool is to upgrade dormant relationships. For this reason I would like to recommend to you today, ironically in the context of this sex column: Leave the tiger in the cage for a while, regardless of whether it is about partner-like coitus or your solo fun. (Also interesting: you need to know about the sex trend “pegging” ")

In BDSM circles, the so-called chastity of a slave by his master has always been an issue. But they also like to dictate and forbid the wildest things. But what should your loved ones and yourself benefit from if one of you temporarily allows them to wear your pants? (Also Read: Oral Sex With That Extra Kick - The Kivin Method)

Sexual abstinence increases desire and intensifies later orgasms

Quite a lot, provided that the thought of surrendering yourself to your sex partner turns you on. Maybe even to obey orders. Or vice versa, you like to keep the reins in your hand. Because sexual abstinence increases desire, inspires erotic fantasies and intensifies later orgasms. Last but not least, it is the game between dom (the dominant, active part) and sub (the submissive, passive teammate) that makes the matter so attractive for many.

One will impose abstinence on the other and thus (playfully) degrade him, make it his possession, which he can dispose of and whose lust he can control. All of this, of course, exclusively by mutual consent and of free will. Why should the cathedral condemn its sub to temporary abstinence? Because he was too naughty. Has given too many likes to Instagram models. Has not washed off thoroughly enough. Whatever (imaginary) wrongdoing it is, it will end in punishment, in our case chastity. (Also Read: 5 Tips For A Perfect Sex Date)

Now, of course, the Lord can make his submissive partner swear not to lay hands on him in the near future. But we all know how seriously such promises should be taken. Not at all. This is where an accessory comes into play: the chastity belt, also called Florentine among experts, which is available for both men and women. In both cases it consists of a pair of briefs, ideally made of leather or stainless steel (cheaper plastic would irritate the skin too much), with a lock attached to the front. Examples for men also have a penis cage. Once attached and locked, the wearer will no longer be able to stimulate the penis, testicles and anus.

The key must always be ready for emergencies

You can wear a chastity belt for testing for the duration of a game session. Or you and your partner go all in and one of you wears the abstinence wearable for a few days. Or weeks. Everything is feasible, but only with enough experience. In order to wear a chastity belt for a longer period of time, it is recommended that you get used to it in phases, during which you get used to the feeling of being "locked in" for two to three hours more week after week. It is important that a) the key is always at hand for emergencies and b) you are familiar with the handling, with putting on and, above all, taking off the belt. (Read here: Dating Site For Men With Small Penis)

By the way, before you start the experiment, you should be shaved sparkling clean. If a hair gets lost in the lock and the key master is not there, it can be uncomfortable.

Speaking of uncomfortable, isn't wearing a Florentine a damned unsanitary affair? Not if you do it right. In many slave-master relationships that practice chastity, it is customary to remove the belt once a day to wash yourself on the one hand and to clean the belt on the other. Other supporters, on the other hand, reject this. But it doesn't matter, because modern chastity belts have small openings in all relevant places, so that a thorough shower through the material is possible. The belt itself should be cleaned properly after a week at the latest. (Also read: This is why women moan during sex)

If you now think that all of this sounds attractive in theory, but is far too time-consuming for you, you can also try the light version of the game with temporary abstinence. Without a chastity belt, only with a so-called penis cage, because it can be bought separately.

The effect is the same: the person who wears the cage gives up control of his sexual desire and puts himself in the hands of his partner, who can now tease him as he pleases and deny him any satisfaction. An exciting change for all friends of sexual power games, which - as I said - can really encourage lame relationship sex.

How do I tell my partner?

Oh yes: If you got really nervous while reading this column and would like to have your dream woman put on a Florentine for you on the spot, but wonder how you can do it without coming across as a freak: The possibility does not exist. If both partners are not BDSM-savvy, there is always the risk that one of them will find the other's wishes strange.

But there is also the possibility that the partner says: “Great, I've always wanted to try it!” My tip to make it as pleasant as possible for everyone: Do not express your wish at the kitchen table after dinner. A sentence like “Babe, I wish that you have me in your hand” and the following request “It would be so cool if you put a chastity belt on me” demand atmosphere. So whisper both in her ear during sex. Then she can't really say no. If you do, just give yourself a penis cage and wear it whenever it turns you on. Happy no-show.

PS: If you are interested in a chastity belt, the handling and maintenance of which is much more complex than that of a penis cage, please do not buy it online. Instead, BDSM retailers can advise you on models that are suitable for you.

Mimi Erhardt is a sex columnist for GQ and GQ.de. You can find out more about the author here.